My Teenage Rage at Great Gatsby Published, on this, the year of its launch into Public Domain
I really, really, really, really disliked The Great Gatsby when I studied it. I still do, but my rage has been tempered somewhat.
When I did my English A Level, I enjoyed many of the pieces we had to read. Tess of the d’Urbervilles was something I could sink my teeth into, Othello was heart-breaking, and love poetry is always something I enjoy reading (and mocking). Unfortunately, I also encountered The Great Gatsby here, and wrote this piece, which I can only summarise as the funniest thing I’ve ever written. Enjoy this glimpse into my 17 year old self and her incandescent rage!
I F*cking Hate the Book ‘The Great Gatsby’
God I hate it.
It’s just so boring, and all of the characters are f*cking atrocious. You got Nick, who’s just a bit of an upper class d*ck to be honest. He’s an unreliable and pretentious narrator that also comes across as a bit of a bloody push over- always being manhandled by Tom or Gatsby or Daisy or even flipping Jordan- and he does literally nothing likeable the entire novel. The only thing he kind of manages to do well is not abandon Gatsby once he’s dead, but he’s got this tone of self pity the entire time, and it just doesn’t sit well with me, it’s an uncomfortable part of the novel for me to read.
Then, you got Gatsby. He’s the closest I get to actually liking a character, at first he seems witty and adorable, but then he just gets flat out creepy and weird. The sh*t he pulls with Daisy- so not okay. I understand he thought he was in love with Daisy (why? who knows, certainly not the godd*mn readers) but Jesus mate there’s being in love with someone and then being obsessed with them. Just because he’s got a swanky house and is played by Leonardo DiCaprio doesn’t mean I’m going to ignore how painfully unstable the entire thing he’s got going is. Everyone’s like “reaching out to the green light is so sweeeet” but Jesus that is creepy son. I mean, he knows where she lives, he knows then that she’s got a husband, but he literally is content waiting for her?? I mean, kudos to him, he doesn’t actually break into her house (probably) but just sitting there, across the lake, ew. You know what, Gatsby reminds me of those nice guys that sit and wait for the girl they’re obsessed with to become single, instead of just using their words. And boy do I know that Gatsby’s got a lotta sh*t going on, he’s new money, a lower social class, all of that malarkey, but he’s just creepy.
Daisy is a female character that you are designed to hate. The descriptions Nick bestows upon her are ridiculously flattering yes, but they’re never about her actual personality or character. And yeah, she grew on me during the novel- the bit when she stands up to both Tom and Gatsby is pretty awesome- but then she runs Myrtle over. Don’t give me any of that accident bullsh*t, I am 80% certain it was done on purpose. Instead of leaving the man she loves because he cheats on her every five minutes, she kills the poor woman he was cheating on her with. Myrtle didn’t swear any vows to Daisy that she’d never cheat on her, Tom did, and yet, Myrtle’s dead and Tom’s fine. I hate that trope in movies, when the cheater gets away with a slap on the wrist and the person they were cheating with gets all the shit.
(Side note: I think that’s why I liked the Other Woman so much, like yeah, don’t get revenge on each other, work together!)
And of course, you’ve got Tom the racist, cheating brute. God he’s a d*ck, and I hate that Fitzgerald puts so much energy into making him a d*ck. One racist mention would have done the trick, along with a couple of doses of snobbery and adultery- he didn’t have to be a complete and utter pillock. I just can’t connect with Tom, I can’t even hate him properly because he’s been so crafted to be hated. I mean, Fitzgerald got the whole “show not tell” thing, but I mean he used a giant flashing neon sign that said “HATE TOM HE’S A D*CK HATE TOM” so it pretty much had the same effect.
(Also, you then get the frustration that Daisy stays with him, Jesus, she’s not actually a Catholic. If he’s that much of a pain in the ass just drop him. I know, I know, social expectations, but blurgh. Dial down the d*ckattude and I wouldn’t feel this level of frustration.)
However, my hatred for all of these characters pales in comparison to the hatred I hold for Jordan. Why is she there? I honestly, swear to Yoda, forget she exists until the books like “JORDAN IS HERE”. F*ck me she’s pointless, the reason she is in the novel is to take Nick to Gatsby, and then explain a plot point in flashback. Thanks, Fitz. You couldn’t come up with anything else to do the job for you, just invented a vapid female character with legitimately no personality. We did an exercise in my English Lit class- explore one of the characters in the Great Gatsby. No one picked Jordan, and when we were brainstorming about her, the only words we got were “snobby” and “annoying”. MEREDITH FROM THE BRATZ LIVE ACTION MOVIE HAS MORE CHARACTER THAN JORDAN.
It gets to me. However, I don’t think I’d be as blind to all of The Great Gatsby’s positives if I wasn’t constantly being told that I have to f*cking like it. Every single time I criticise it, a gaggle of fricking girls start waving their pencils and diaries at me screeching about how I can’t possibly have read the book if I hate it. Well, I have. Numerous times. I’m doing an exam on it, if I really wanted to, I could back all of this complaining up with quotes. However, I don’t wanna do that. Do you know why? Because every time I read the Goddamn Great Gatsby I wanna drop kick the book through a f*cking window.
